Friday, 8 June 2012

‘Life Actually’

Forreset Gump’s mother told him that “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” This is definitely true I feel. In life we encounter so many different experiences. Some have made us feel happy, some otherwise. But, what has life taught us thus far actually? When one starts to discover life, what actually is one discovering? How can one actually claim that he or she is finally discovering life after years of living on earth? Has he or she not discovered life before this? I have always asked myself “Have I experienced life enough?” every time a person comes to me and shares his or her experiences with me, sometimes asking for my views on certain issues or matters. Life, I feel, is full of surprises. It is always evolving, hence, making it rather difficult for a person to claim that he or she has learned enough and is now an expert about life. It is unfair for a person to declare that he or she is THE GURU about matters concerning life. Can life actually be taught I ask. If life can be taught, then who is the best teacher to actually teach life to others? I am in the opinion that the best teacher to teach us about life is ourselves. It is better to experience it ourselves than to let others ‘experience’ it for us. Like the saying by Forrest Gump’s mother “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” You can only not know what you are going to get only if you choose the chocolate to be eaten yourself, and not the one chosen for you. It will then be your choice, yours and yours alone. Should you get a bitter one, than you will learn and you will only have yourself to blame for choosing that particular chocolate. Should you encounter the same chocolate again in the future, you will remember the taste and you will then make an informed decision of not eating the chocolate. If you let others to decide and choose which chocolate you should eat, you will then start to blame others if you get the chocolate that does not taste good. If it turns out to be good, still the choice was not made by you. Thus, learn to choose and decide yourself. Take the risk, that’s how you will learn and experience life. Life, I feel, is definitely unique and abstract. Unique, because you can never declare that you have learned enough or have enough knowledge about life. No one, in my view, can ever claim that as life is always teaching us something new every day. That is why life is so abstract. No one will have the same view. Just like an abstract painting. One painting can be viewed in many different ways, depending on the person who is viewing it. A person may say that the painting carries a lot of meaning behind it, thus defining the painter or artist. Another person may look at the same painting and see nothing. A painting is just a painting to some. Similarly, people view life as they view an abstract painting; it’s just that they do not realize it. Some people cherish every single minute of their life as they feel that they are experiencing something new every minute. Some feel that there’s nothing new about their life, they are doing the same routine day in and day out. But, they fail to see that if they actually examine it deeply, they do experience something new every day. It is impossible for one to assert that there’s nothing new in their life. There always is, it is a matter of wanting to see it. Sometimes we are so blind to see what is in front of us. We choose not to embrace life. We choose to say ‘life has nothing to offer’. This view has to be changed. How do we actually learn about life? How can we claim that we are in the verge of discovering life? This, in my opinion, is still a great mystery. Hence, to solve the mystery, let us take an adventure with and in life. Embrace it, appreciate every moment, you live on earth only once.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

kopi & telaga

Today I heard a motivational talk and it was on 'Kopi & Telaga'. I would like to share it with you. The story is more or less like this... (will continue in BM)

Ada seorang pemuda yang sentiasa merasakan yang dirinya sentiasa di timpa masalah & sentiasa merungut. Tiba2 datang seorang tua yang bijaksana bertanya kepada pemuda itu mengapa dia sentiasa merungut. Pemuda itu pun bercerita kepada orang tua itu yang dia sentiasa di timpa masalah dan merasakan ianya adalan beban yang amat besar. Orang tua itu kemudiannya memberi pemuda itu seggenggam serbuk kopi dan segalas air. Beliau menyuruh pemuda tersebut mencampurkan serbuk kopi tersebut kedalam segelas air dan mengacaunya hingga sebati, selepas itu disuruhnya pemuda itu untuk meminum air tersebut. "Apakah rasanya?" tanya si tua kepada pemuda itu. Tentulah jawapan pemuda itu, pahit.... Si tua bijaksana itu kemudian memberi lagi seggenggam serbuk kopi kepada pemuda tersebut dan menyuruhnya memasukkan ke dalam sebuah telaga & mengacaunya hingga sebati. kemudian si tua tersebut menyuruh pemuda itu meminum air dari telaga yang telah dicampur serbuk kopi. Pemuda itu pun mencedok segelas air dari telaga tersebut dan meminumnya. Si tua pun bertanyakan soalan yg sama kepada pemuda tersebut, "apakah rasanya", kali ini pemuda itu menjawab... "rasanya segar". "Ada kamu terasa kopi dalam air tersebut?" tanya si tua lagi. "Tidak" jawab si pemuda.

Si tua itu kemudiannya duduk disebelah pemuda itu dan berkata "Nak, dalam kehidupan ini masalah akan sentiasa datang kepada kita. Pahitnya kehidupan itu adalah seperti segenggam garam, tidak lebih dan tidak kurang. Jumlah dan rasa pahit itu adalah sama dan memang akan tetap selalu sama.

Dengan kasih sayang dan bijaksannya, kakek bijak menepuk-nepuk punggung pemuda itu, ia lalu mengajaknya duduk berhadapan, bersimpuh disamping telaga itu. Anak muda !, dengarlah, pahitnya kehidupan itu adalah layaknya segenggam garam, tidak lebih dan tidak kurang. Jumlah dan rasa pahit itu adalah sama dan memang akan tetap selalu sama.

"Tapi, kepahitan yang kita rasakan akan sangat tergantung dari 'bekas' atau 'alat' yang kita miliki. Kepahitan itu akan didasarkan dari perasaan tempat kita meletakkan segalanya. Itu semua akan tergantung pada hati kita. Jadi saat kamu merasakan kepahitan dan kegagalan dalam hidup, apa yang patut kamu lakukan? Lapangkanlah dadamu menerima semuanya. Luaskanlah hatimu untuk menampung setiap kepahitan itu. Hatimu, adalah 'bekas' atau 'alat' itu. Perasaanmu adalah tempat itu. Kalbumu, adalah tempat kamu menampung segalanya. Jadi, jangan jadikan hatimu itu seperti gelas. Jadikan ia seperti telaga yang mampu merendam setiap kepahitan dan merubahnya menjadi kesegaran dan kebahagiaan."

The motivator then went on to use the analogy of 'Ultraman', how when he fights the 'raksaksa', the raksasa is always bigger than Ultraman at first, and ultraman will face difficulties in trying to kill the monster. However, when he uses his power and transform to be bigger, he is always able to defeat the monster / 'raksaksa'. When ultraman transforms to be bigger, does the monster transform to be bigger too? NO... it doesn't. The monster's size remains the same, it's just Ultraman who changes in size... he becomes bigger.

That is how we are supposed to react when we are facing any problems, challenges or obstacles. Do not make them bigger... it is us, our heart, our mind that's supposed to be bigger because the problem will always remain in its 'size', it is us who actually makes it change...

So... like the wise always says... "Lapangkanlah dada, luaskanlah minda, InsyaAllah, segala masalah akan dapat di atasi."

I still remember the advice that my arwah grandfather gave to me and my husband on the day we got married "Masalah yang besar di kecilkan, masalah yang kecil jangan di besar-besarkan, yang tiada, jangan di adakan."

I guess the problem with all of us is that we always 'cari masalah' and also 'besarkan masalah yang kecil'. Do you not agree?

Monday, 16 January 2012

What's happening ..... ?

My son , Amin came home from school last friday evening looking very upset. He looked like he was about to cry as he pushed his bike. True enough, the second I asked him how was school, he shed a tear. He was beaten up by three form 2 boys. I was shocked.... Beaten up? On his 8th day of school? What surprised me more was that the boy who started the whole thing, kicked him from behind when he was on his way to perform his 'Asar prayer. He was surprised, so he turned & kicked the boy back. The boy then punched his face & when he wanted to punch the boy back, the other form 1 boys stopped Amin from doing so & adviced him to inform the teacher. He then went to look for a teacher & little did he know that the bully followed him with two of his buddies and punch his neck & head from the back. Again Amin was hit & the boys fled. Amin didn't even know the boys. He had never seen or met the boys before that Friday. He told his form teacher but she didn't do anything as Amin didn't know the boys' names. The teacher, instead of actually doing something about it, told Amin to inform her the next time Amin sees the boys. What....? I was upset when Amin told me this. To me, as a teacher, she should've acted on it immeadiately. I guess she assumed it was nothing. Assumptions..... Amin had a very bad headache that night and his head was a bit swollen. My husband lodge a report & went to school today to see the Principal. The boy was identified by Amin, a malay boy, & got his punishment. The sad part was, when asked why did he beat Amin? He answered "no particular reason, my friends asked me to". What is happening to our younger generation? Beating up people for fun?

Last Saturday while I was picking up my daughter from school, I saw few malay boys in school uniform smoking right in front of the school gate. Again, i pose the question.... What is happening to our people? I see the malay teens being swept away by what may seem like 'THE' 'in thing'. Smoking, doing drugs, making out, the girls dressed in short skirts, and some even wearing hot pants, some even look like as if they are not wearing anything, only covering the necessary 'parts'. Sad to see.... They are malays...Islam. What is happening actually? Scary is it not...?

Thursday, 12 January 2012

New year

Salam. I think it's not too late for me to wish everyone 'happy new year!'. It's already approaching to the third week of January. My youngest daughter, aina, is in standard 1 this year. She was very excited when i took her to her orientation day on the 31st of dec '11. It was me who was a bit emotional. I felt, and still feeling it now, that my daughter is growing up too fast. Not just aina, the other three too. My second son Amin, is already in form 1. On his first day of school i almost shed a tear.... He's all grown up. He's now a young man who is almost as tall as me and he has pimples too... My third son, Safwan is now in std 4 but we still call him 'adik'. He's a bit more sensitive now. I guess it's part of growing up, but he's still chubby and still has his babyface, and he's still manja to a certain extent. My eldest, Amirah, is now in form 2 & she's more cautious of her appearance. She can fit my shoes now. A young lady indeed. It does make me feel rather old.... Oppss... Old is not the right word i believe... It makes me feel more matured ;)

No matter how 'grown up' they get, they will always be my babies who would always make me feel at peace. Children are indeed the greatest gift from Allah swt. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for this wonderful gift.